Trust

Trust

In Todd Henry’s leadership book, “Herding Tigers” he makes an interesting observation about trust. He says people often treat trust like a bank account. They make deposits over time. They show up, they help, they keep their promises and they do the right things. But somewhere along the way, they begin to believe that by making those deposits they now have permission and the right to make an occasional withdrawal.

But Henry says trust isn’t like a bank account. Trust is more like a water balloon.

He says you can spend a long time filling a water balloon. It gets bigger and bigger until it is completely full. But it only takes one small puncture for all that water to begin leaking out. All the effort of putting the water in the balloon can be lost with a single puncture.

Trust can be the same way. You can spend years building a reputation and ruin it in a moment. You can tell the truth a hundred times and then decide you will simply tell a lie because the truth is inconvenient. You can keep promise after promise and then casually break the one that mattered most to someone. You can demonstrate integrity for years and then compromise when you think no one is watching.

If you believe trust is a bank account, then making a small mistake won’t make that much difference to you. You will believe yesterday’s integrity can pay for today’s compromise. You will say to yourself:

“I’ve earned their trust.”

“They know what kind of person I am.”

“I’ve done enough for them.”

“They’ll understand.”

But trust doesn’t work like a ledger or like a bank account. The trust people place in us today deserves to be honored today. We cannot sacrifice their trust for the moment because we think we have earned enough credits.

That is true in leadership.

It is true in marriage.

It is true in friendship.

And it is true in business.

Studies have shown that trust isn’t generally lost through some spectacular act of betrayal. Sometimes the punctures are much smaller. Saying you’ll call, then you don’t. Promising to take care of something and forgetting about it. Sharing something that was told to you in confidence. Taking credit that belongs to someone else. Saying one thing to someone’s face and something entirely different when they leave the room. You may think those are only small punctures, but small punctures still leak.

A thousand honest decisions does not give you permission for making one dishonest one. Yesterday’s integrity does not give you credit for today’s compromise.

The good news is that the opposite is also true. Trust is also protected in the small things. Keeping your word when breaking it would be easier. Showing up when you said you would. Admitting you were wrong instead of defending yourself. Telling the truth when the truth costs you something. Doing the right thing when nobody would ever know the difference. Those choices may never receive applause and maybe will never be noticed. You may not get feedback, but they matter.

Every week you have a key question: Can people trust me with what they put in my hands?

Can they trust you with their confidence? Their time? Their vulnerability? Their reputation? Their responsibilities? Their friendship? Can they trust that when you say, “I’ll take care of it” it will get done?

Trust is worth protecting.

Remember everyone around you is carrying a water balloon. When someone trusts you, they are handing you something fragile. Handle it carefully. Don’t assume that because they trusted you yesterday, you are entitled to their trust tomorrow. Trust must be protected.

This week, pay attention to the little things. Keep the promise. Make the call. Tell the truth. Admit the mistake. Give the credit. Keep the confidence. Show up.

Don’t strive to try to convince everyone that you are trustworthy; live in such a way that they don’t have to wonder.

Trust isn’t a bank account, it’s a water balloon. Protect it at all cost.